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Gy 9t{"id":25539,"date":"2022-09-21T11:10:32","date_gmt":"2022-09-21T08:10:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ebrarmedya.com\/?p=25539"},"modified":"2022-09-21T11:10:32","modified_gmt":"2022-09-21T08:10:32","slug":"evlilere-onemli-tavsiyeler","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ebrarmedya.com\/evlilere-onemli-tavsiyeler\/","title":{"rendered":"EVL\u0130LERE \u00d6NEML\u0130 TAVS\u0130YELER"},"content":{"rendered":"

B\u0130SM\u0130LLAH\u0130RRAHMAN\u0130RRAH\u0130M<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hamd; erke\u011fi ve kad\u0131n\u0131 birbirine huzur sebebi k\u0131lan ve onlar\u0131 birbirleriyle imtihan eden aralar\u0131na adaletli ve saadet kayna\u011f\u0131 olacak hukuk belirleyen Latif, Vehhab, Fettah olan yegane ilah ve rabb olan Allah (cc)\u2019a mahsustur.<\/p>\n

Salat ve selam; ehline kar\u015f\u0131 en iyi davranan, en iyi koca, en g\u00fczel \u00f6rnek olan Allah Rasulu (sav)\u2019e tertemiz ehl-i beytine sahabesine ve t\u00fcm m\u00fcminlerin \u00fczerine olsun.<\/p>\n

Kad\u0131nlar\u0131n azg\u0131nla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve erkeklerin g\u00f6revlerini ihmal etti\u011fi ve b\u00f6ylelikle bu ailede yeti\u015fen gen\u00e7lerin \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131r\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015fu fitne d\u00f6neminde \u0130slam\u2019\u0131n hakimiyetine olan ihtiya\u00e7 ciddi oranda kendisini g\u00f6stermektedir. Ne dersek diyelim, ne kadar izah edersek edelim fitnenin en temel sebebi Kur\u2019an\u2019\u0131n hakimiyet makam\u0131ndan kald\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f olmas\u0131d\u0131r. Bu demek olur ki Kur\u2019an-\u0131 Kerime ve S\u00fcnnet-i Seniyye hakimiyyet makam\u0131na gelirse bu fitnelerin hepsi ortadan kalkar ve k\u00f6k\u00fc kaz\u0131n\u0131r. Bunun i\u00e7in merkezden muhite do\u011fru bu eylemi ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirmek gerekir. M\u00fcsl\u00fcmanlar\u0131n g\u00f6revi \u00f6ncelikle budur.<\/p>\n

Ge\u00e7en yaz\u0131m\u0131zda kad\u0131n ve erkek \u00fczerine bir de\u011ferlendirme yap\u0131p erkeklerin ve kad\u0131nlar\u0131n birbirlerinden neler istedi\u011fine bir sonraki yaz\u0131m\u0131zda de\u011finece\u011fimizi s\u00f6ylemi\u015ftik. Bu ay ki yaz\u0131m\u0131zda merkezden ba\u015flatmam\u0131z gereken Kur\u2019an ve S\u00fcnnetin hakimiyetini tesis etmek ad\u0131na evlilik nam\u0131na bize y\u00f6nelik tavsiyeleri ele alaca\u011f\u0131z in\u015faAllah.<\/p>\n

\u00d6ncelikle evlilik bir hayat birle\u015ftirmedir, yatak birle\u015ftirme de\u011fil. Ne yaz\u0131k ki evlili\u011fi b\u00f6yle anlayanlar bu yakla\u015f\u0131mlar\u0131ndan \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fc ciddi zararlar g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015flerdir. Erke\u011fin kad\u0131n\u0131 cinsel arzular\u0131n\u0131 tatmin etti\u011fi bir varl\u0131k olarak g\u00f6rmemeli kad\u0131nlar\u0131n da erkekleri d\u00fcnya s\u00fcs\u00fc ve rahat\u0131n\u0131 temin edecekleri bir memur gibi g\u00f6rmemelidir. Peki evli olan erkek ve kad\u0131n birbirlerini nas\u0131l g\u00f6rmeliler? Birbirlerine kar\u015f\u0131 de\u011ferlendirmeleri nas\u0131l olmal\u0131? Gelin bunu Kur\u2019an\u2019dan \u00f6\u011frenelim;<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026Onlar, size \u00f6rt\u00fcd\u00fcrler, siz de onlara \u00f6rt\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fcz\u2026\u201d(Bakara\/187)\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n

Bu a\u00e7\u0131k bir istiaredir. A\u00e7\u0131klanacak olursa m\u00e2n\u00e2 \u015fu olur. \u0130ki noktadan b\u00f6yle birbirinizin elbisesi durumundas\u0131n\u0131z:<\/em><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. a) Bir taraftan elbise gibi birbirinize sar\u0131l\u0131r, sarmala\u015f\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z,<\/em><\/li>\n
  2. b) Di\u011fer taraftan elbisenin ay\u0131plar\u0131 \u00f6rtmesi, so\u011fuk ve s\u0131caktan korumas\u0131 gibi, her biriniz, di\u011ferinin h\u00e2lini gizleyip \u00f6rter, namusunu muhafaza edip, g\u00fcnahlardan korur. Aran\u0131zda b\u00f6yle bir beraberlik ve ili\u015fki vard\u0131r.(Hak Dini Kur\u2019an Dili)<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Elbise, \u00f6rt\u00fcnme ve korunma arac\u0131d\u0131r. Kar\u0131-koca aras\u0131ndaki ili\u015fki de t\u0131pk\u0131 b\u00f6yledir. Herbiri, kar\u015f\u0131 taraf\u0131n \u00fczerine \u00f6rt\u00fc \u00e7eker, onu korur.(Fi Zilalil Kur\u2019an)<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u0130bn Abb\u00e2s M\u00fcc\u00e2hid, Sa\u00eed \u0130bn C\u00fcbeyr, Hasan, Kat\u00e2de, S\u00fcdd\u00ee ve Muk\u00e2til \u0130bn Hay\u00ady\u00e2n, onlar sizin i\u00e7in huzur kayna\u011f\u0131, siz de onlar i\u00e7in huzur kayna\u011f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z, diye tefsir etmi\u015flerdir.(Tefsirul Kur\u2019an\u2019il Azim)<\/em><\/p>\n

    Kar\u0131 ile koca aras\u0131ndaki ili\u015fki, elbiselerle beden aras\u0131ndaki ili\u015fki gibidir. Nas\u0131l bu ikisi birbirine \u00e7ok yak\u0131n, uygun ve aralar\u0131nda hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yoksa, ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde kar\u0131 ve koca birbirleriyle \u00e7ok yak\u0131n ili\u015fki i\u00e7indedirler ve birbirleri i\u00e7in kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 birer s\u00fck\u00fbnet ve mutluluk kayna\u011f\u0131d\u0131rlar.(Tefhimul Kur\u2019an)<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u0130\u015fte Kur\u2019an-\u0131 Kerim kar\u0131 ile kocan\u0131n birbirleri aras\u0131ndaki ili\u015fkiyi harika bir \u015fekilde tarif ediyor. Birbirleri i\u00e7in korunakl\u0131 bir s\u0131\u011f\u0131nak olduklar\u0131n\u0131 ve birbirlerine huzur kayna\u011f\u0131 olduklar\u0131n\u0131 ifade ediyor. Yak\u0131nl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 ise elbisenin bedene olan yak\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ile a\u00e7\u0131kl\u0131yor. Bir erkek ve kad\u0131n, e\u015fine bir elbise gibi olmal\u0131d\u0131r. \u00d6ncelikle her iki taraf\u0131n elbise g\u00f6revini yerine getirip getirmedi\u011fini sorgulamas\u0131 gerekiyor. Ben ger\u00e7ekten e\u015fim i\u00e7in huzur kayna\u011f\u0131 m\u0131y\u0131m? Ona korunakl\u0131 bir s\u0131\u011f\u0131nak olabiliyor muyum? Ona olan yak\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131m sadece yatakta m\u0131? Beni kendisine yak\u0131n hissediyor\u00a0 mu? Gibi bir \u00e7ok soruyu sormas\u0131 gerekiyor her iki taraf\u0131n. Genellikle yarg\u0131lar hep kar\u015f\u0131 tarafa y\u00f6neliyor. Onun g\u00f6revlerini yerine getirmemesinden, yahut elbise olma vasf\u0131n\u0131 elde etmedi\u011finden \u015fikayet ediyor. Peki ya sen? Sen kendini hi\u00e7 sorgulad\u0131n m\u0131? Sen yap. Bu g\u00f6revi yerine getirmeye sen ba\u015fla. Yoksa gururun, kibirin mi el vermiyor? O senin e\u015fin. D\u0131\u015far\u0131dan ge\u00e7en birisi de\u011fil. O aran\u0131zdaki buzlar ne \u00f6yle? Neden birbirinize kar\u015f\u0131 rahat de\u011filsiniz? Siz ger\u00e7ekten evli misiniz? Bunu biraz irdeleyelim;<\/p>\n

    Bu ayetten anla\u015f\u0131l\u0131yor ki kad\u0131n ve erkek e\u015finden huzur bulmak isteyecektir. \u0130\u015fte erkeklerin ve kad\u0131nlar\u0131n birbirlerinden istedi\u011fi \u015feylerin ba\u015f\u0131nda bu gelir. Huzur. Peki kad\u0131n\u0131n erke\u011fe erke\u011finde kad\u0131na huzur vermesi nas\u0131l olur? Peygamberimiz (sav)\u2019e bir kulak verelim;<\/p>\n

    Ebu H\u00fcreyre (r.a)\u2019den riv\u00e2yete g\u00f6re, Ras\u00fblullah (s.a.v)\u2019e: \u201cHangi kad\u0131nlar daha hay\u0131rl\u0131d\u0131r?\u201d <\/strong>diye soruldu. Ras\u00fblullah (s.a.v)\u2019de \u015f\u00f6yle buyurdu: \u201cKocas\u0131 kendisine bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 an onu ne\u015felendiren, emretti\u011finde ona itaat eden, kocas\u0131n\u0131n ho\u015flanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyi mal\u0131nda ve kendinde bulundurmayan kad\u0131n.\u201d <\/strong>(Sadece Nes\u00e2i riv\u00e2yet etmi\u015ftir.)<\/em><\/p>\n

    Abdullah b. Amr b. As (r.a)\u2019tan riv\u00e2yete g\u00f6re, Ras\u00fblullah (s.a.v) \u015f\u00f6yle buyurdu: \u201cD\u00fcnya\u2019n\u0131n tamam\u0131 istifade edilecek \u015feylerle doludur. D\u00fcnya\u2019da istifade edilecek en hay\u0131rl\u0131 \u015fey de iyi huylu bir kad\u0131nd\u0131r.\u201d<\/strong> (\u0130bn M\u00e2ce, Nikah: 5; M\u00fcslim, Rada: 18)<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u00c2i\u015fe (Radtya\u00eel\u00e2h\u00fc anh\u00e2y\u00e2an rivayet edildi\u011fine g\u00f6re; Res\u00fblullah (Sallallah\u00fc Aleyhi ve Sellem) \u015f\u00f6yle demi\u015ftir:<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u00abE\u011fer ben her hangi bir kimseye, her hangi bir kimsenin secde etmesini emretmi\u015f olsayd\u0131m kad\u0131na, kocas\u0131na secde etmesini emredecektim. Ve e\u011fer bir erkek kar\u0131s\u0131na k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bir da\u011fdan siyah bir da\u011fa ve siyah bir da\u011fdan k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bir da\u011fa ta\u015f ta\u015f\u0131mas\u0131n\u0131 emretseydim kad\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6revi ve uygun olan hareketi bu i\u015fi yapmak idi.\u00bb”<\/em><\/strong>(\u0130bn Mace\/Nikah\/4)<\/em><\/p>\n

    Mu\u00e2z (bin Cebel) (Rad\u0131yall\u00e2h\u00fc anh) (\u015eam’dan Med\u00eene-i M\u00fcnevvere’ye) geldi\u011fi zaman Peygamber (Sallallah\u00fc Aleyhi ve Sellem)’e secde etti. Efendimiz (onun bu hareketini red etmek \u00fczere) :<\/em><\/p>\n

    “Bu ne Y\u00e2 Mu\u00e2z?” buyurdu. Mu\u00e2z:<\/em><\/p>\n

    Ben \u015eam’a vard\u0131m, onlar\u0131n, reislerine ve emirlerine secde ettik\u00adlerine rastlad\u0131m. Bu (secde) i\u015fini z\u00e2t\u0131n\u0131za yapmam\u0131z\u0131 i\u00e7imden arzu\u00adlad\u0131m, diye cevap verdi. Bunun \u00fczerine Res\u00fblullah (Sallallah\u00fc Aley\u00adhi ve Sellem) :<\/em><\/p>\n

    –Sak\u0131n (b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey) yapmay\u0131n. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc e\u011fer ben Allah’tan ba\u015f\u00adkas\u0131na secde etmeyi her hangi bir kimseye emir etmeyi caiz g\u00f6rseydim, kar\u0131n\u0131n kendi kocas\u0131na secde etmesini emrederdim. Muhammed’in nefsi (kudret) elinde olan (Allah) ‘a yemin ederim ki kad\u0131n, kocas\u0131n\u0131n hakk\u0131n\u0131 \u00d6deyinceye kadar, Rabbinin hakk\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6demi\u015f olmaz ve e\u011fer kad\u0131n deve (s\u0131rt\u0131ndaki) semer \u00fczerinde (binmi\u015f) iken kocas\u0131 kendisini (cinsi m\u00fcn\u00e2sebet i\u00e7in) istemi\u015f olsa kad\u0131n kocas\u0131na mani olamaz.”<\/strong> (\u0130bn Mace\/Nikah\/4)<\/em><\/p>\n

    Muaviye el-ku\u015feyri’den; demi\u015ftir ki: (Peygambere hitaben); Ya Ras\u00fblullah, bizim birimizin \u00fczerinde, zevcesinin hakk\u0131 ne\u00addir?” diye sordum da, “Yedi\u011fin zaman ona da yedirmen, elbise ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n zaman ona da almand\u0131r. (Sak\u0131n) y\u00fcze vurma, (onu) k\u00f6t\u00fcleme evin d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda (onu) terk etme.” <\/strong>diye cevap verdi.(Ebu Davud Nikah 42-43)<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u00abSizin en hay\u0131rl\u0131n\u0131z, ailesine en iyi olan\u0131n\u0131zd\u0131r. Ben de ailesine en iyi olan\u0131n\u0131z\u0131m.\u201d(\u0130bni Mace\/Nikah\/50)<\/em><\/p>\n

    Veda hacc\u0131nda Re s\u00fblullah (Sallallah\u00fc Aleyhi ve SelJem) ile beraber bulunmu\u015f ve Re-s\u00fblullah (Sallallah\u00fc Aleyhi ve Sellem) (me\u015fhur Veda hutbesinde) Allah’a hamd ve sena ettikten sonra vaaz ve nasihat ederek (ez c\u00fcm\u00adle) \u015f\u00f6yle buyurmu\u015ftur:<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u00ab(Ey Ashab\u0131m!) Kad\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131za kar\u015f\u0131 iyi olman\u0131z\u0131 tavsiye ederim. (Bu tavsiyeme ri\u00e2yet ediniz). \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc onlar sizin yan\u0131n\u0131zda (sizlere ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131k bak\u0131m\u0131ndan) esirler (gibi)dir. \u015eu (malum cinsel ili\u015fkilerden ba\u015fka onlar\u0131n hi\u00e7 bir \u015feyine m\u00e2lik de\u011filsiniz. Ancak apa\u00e7\u0131k \u00e7irkin ve haddi a\u015fan hat\u00e2lar\u0131 oldu\u011fu zaman (onlar hakk\u0131nda \u015fu \u015feylere sahip\u00adsiniz:) E\u011fer (b\u00f6yle \u00e7irkin ve haddi a\u015fan hareketler) i\u015flerler ise on\u00adlar\u0131n yataklar\u0131n\u0131 terkediniz ve eziyet verici olmayan \u015fekilde onlar\u0131 d\u00f6v\u00fcn\u00fcz. E\u011fer bundan sonra size itaat ederlerse onlar\u0131 takbih ve ezi\u00adyet verme yoluna tevess\u00fcl etmeyiniz. (Ge\u00e7mi\u015f kusurlar\u0131 ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n) \u015e\u00fcphesiz kar\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131zdan (istedi\u011finiz birtak\u0131m) hakk\u0131n\u0131z vard\u0131r. Kar\u0131\u00adlar\u0131n\u0131z i\u00e7in de \u00fczerinizde (birtak\u0131m) hak dar) vard\u0131r. Kar\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131z \u00fczerindeki hakk\u0131n\u0131za gelince, kar\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131z sizin ho\u015flanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z hi\u00e7 bir kimseyi evlerinize al\u0131p onlarla konu\u015fmas\u0131nlar ve ho\u015flanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z hi\u00e7 bir kimsenin evlerinize girmesine izin vermesinler. Bilmi\u015f olunuz ki: Kar\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n \u00fczerindeki hakk\u0131 ise onlar\u0131 giydirmek ve yedirmek hususunda onlara \u0130yi davran man izdir.\u00bb(\u0130bn-i Mace\/Nikah\/3)<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cKad\u0131n kaburga kemi\u011finden yarat\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Hep seni ho\u015fnut edecek \u015fekilde davranamaz. E\u011fer ondan faydalanmak istersen bu haliyle de faydalanabilirsin. \u015eayet do\u011frultay\u0131m dersen k\u0131rars\u0131n. Kad\u0131n\u0131n k\u0131r\u0131lmas\u0131 da bo\u015fanmas\u0131d\u0131r.\u201d<\/em><\/strong>(M\u00fcslim\/Emzirme\/59)<\/em><\/p>\n

    Bu konuyla ilgili hadisler ger\u00e7ekten \u00e7oktur. Ancak buraya hepsini almak durumunda de\u011filiz. Ayetler ve hadislerden alm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fumuz i\u015faretler ile kad\u0131n ve erkeklerin birbirilerinden ne bekledi\u011fini ve nelere dikkat etmesi gerekti\u011fini maddeler halinde ele alaca\u011f\u0131z; maddelere ise, bir sonraki yaz\u0131m\u0131zda devam edece\u011fiz \u0130N\u015eAALLAH.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    B\u0130SM\u0130LLAH\u0130RRAHMAN\u0130RRAH\u0130M Hamd; erke\u011fi ve kad\u0131n\u0131 birbirine huzur sebebi k\u0131lan ve onlar\u0131 birbirleriyle imtihan eden aralar\u0131na adaletli ve saadet kayna\u011f\u0131 olacak hukuk belirleyen Latif, Vehhab, Fettah olan yegane ilah ve rabb olan Allah (cc)\u2019a mahsustur. Salat ve selam; ehline kar\u015f\u0131 en iyi davranan, en iyi koca, en g\u00fczel \u00f6rnek olan Allah Rasulu (sav)\u2019e tertemiz ehl-i beytine […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":25540,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,251],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nEVL\u0130LERE \u00d6NEML\u0130 TAVS\u0130YELER Nedir? • Ebrar Medya<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ebrarmedya.com\/evlilere-onemli-tavsiyeler\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"EVL\u0130LERE \u00d6NEML\u0130 TAVS\u0130YELER Nedir? • Ebrar Medya\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"B\u0130SM\u0130LLAH\u0130RRAHMAN\u0130RRAH\u0130M Hamd; erke\u011fi ve kad\u0131n\u0131 birbirine huzur sebebi k\u0131lan ve onlar\u0131 birbirleriyle imtihan eden aralar\u0131na adaletli ve saadet kayna\u011f\u0131 olacak hukuk belirleyen Latif, Vehhab, Fettah olan yegane ilah ve rabb olan Allah (cc)\u2019a mahsustur. 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